The manager of the employement agency looked darkly at the resume in front of him. It was one of *those*. He sighed and pressed the intercom button. "Mika, send in the the next applicant please." The door opened and closed in a whoosh, as the pneumatic spring worked to cushion its weight. No one came in though. A few seconds later, rose petals began to swirl around the room, and an androgynous figure appeared, floating a foot above the carpet. *Oh, wonderful. It's *Pat*. Lessee Mr.? Ms.? ...* The manager cleared his throat. "Zoicite? Have a seat." "Why, thank you." The figure sat down, demurely covering his(?) mouth with a white gloved hand. "You list your last occupation here as 'Youma General, Minion of the Dark Kingdom'. Would you mind explaining your duties for me?" "Certainly. I commanded Youma and did my best to drain life energy from the earth in order to release glorious Metallia." "Mmm-hmmm. I see. Leadership skills, then. You have any computer experience?" "Of course. I have trained with most models of Silver Millenia era and Dark Kingdom computation devices. I must admit though, that I have spent quite bit a more time with the 'Dark Crystal' series. The manager nodded. "You're work record lists you as deceased between August 27th through December 19th. Can you tell me what you were doing during that time?" "Oh, that. That was that dreadful period when my last employer blasted me for failing to recover the Silver Crystal without damaging Tuxedo Mask. Awful business, that. I spent most of the time until I was ressurected when Metallia was destroyed playing cards with dead youma. I'm afraid there's not much opportunity out there for a corpse." The manager nodded knowingly. "Sounds like the last time I got laid off. I'll be honest with you, ... Zoicite. There's not many openings out there for 'Energy Draining'. I do have a spot managing night security at a shopping mall--" "I'll take it!" * * * "Hi, I'm Jadeite. May I take your order?" "You're s'posed to say, 'May I spank your monkey?' U-huh huh huh...'" The grey uniformed general glared darkly at his coworker. "I'll have a Wonder burger with no pickles, and a large ice tea." "Would you like fries with that?" "No, dumbass! You're supposed to ask if they want to fish the worms out of the fryer with that. U-huh huh huh... One large worms, Beavis!" "Whoah! One large worms. Thankyoudrivethrough! Heh Heh heh..." Jadeite turned and drained the mal-formed youth of every last drop of energy he had. He used the build up to blast the spastic fry cook through the wall. The few people in the dining room applauded. Jadeite removed his paper hat and apron and smoothed the front of his uniform. He motioned his customer to the door of the small restaurant. "I really would suggest eating at a different establishment. The help here is no good at all." He sighed and shook his head. Almost impossibly, this was even worse than sales job at 'Radio Shack'. "whoa.... that was cool... huh huh huh..." "do it again, butthead... heh heh heh..." * * * "Class... attention class. Is that everybody? Okay, since Haruna-sensei is out with severe energy drainage again, we have a substitute today. Let's all give Mister Nephrite a big Juuban welcome." The dark skinned man stepped around the chubby principal and pointed at the black board. His name appeared in blood red chalk. "Today we'll be talking about the stars. You all like star-gazing don't you?" Umino definitely didn't like the way Naru had suddenly started star-gazing. "Well, did you know that the stars can grant you power to crush your enemies and drain your victims? That's right. If you'll look here on this chart... Hey!" An eraser propelled itself off the desk and struck a blonde girl across the top of her head. "Wake up, meatball head!" * * * C. Hamster http://www.furinkan.net