------------------------------ The Pennance of Uranus a Sailor Moon short by Space Pirate Hamster ------------------------------ "What did you wish for?" Hotaru asked me, as we watched the stars shooting across the sky. "What would I have to wish for?" I replied. "This is our happiest moment." And it was. There, as the four of us sat in my car, I was with the person I loved most in the world. She had died by my side, and I had died by hers, the angry red blood of betrayal thick and dripping from my hands. The princess's heart brought the four of us back. It brought *all* of us back, and, try as I might, I can't feel bad about what I did. That sounds psychotic, doesn't it? I slew little Hotaru. I can still see the calm expression on her face as she lowered the silence glaive, which she had just raised against Galaxia. Her face... her beautiful little face was calm and full of peace. I can remember the grief I felt, holding the little shining purple light in my hand as I fought Galaxia for control of my own soul. I can remember the grief I felt when I realized that it was all for nothing. That was all before Usagi brought us back. Now, when I try to go back there... to recapture those dark feelings, I come up against a pair of shining blue eyes that hurt just as much as I do when I suffer... even when I want to suffer. So... this is my penance. The princess has closed her fist utterly around my heart. I know that the next time she asks me why I disagree with her... or the next time that she questions why I want to choose to make a sacrifice... I know that I will not be able to resist the siren call of her sweet voice that won't let me hate myself enough to make a painful choice. I know that Michiru feels the same way. Even though it never passes her lips, I can see it in the happy-yet-haunted expression that she wears. I see the same expression now every time I look in the mirror. To allow myself to have feelings of sadness, remorse, grief, or anger is something that would hurt the princess. This is something I can no longer do. To make a sacrifice would make her cry. 'Because this is the way we do things,' is no longer an adequate excuse to hurt her. I was born to be the princess's servant, just as I was born to be Michiru's soulmate. She has bound me to that destiny not with violence or with my desires. She has not tricked me. She has not magicked me. I almost wished she had. To hurt someone else is to hurt her, too. Hurting her hurts me, but that only hurts her more. I cannot begin that vicious cycle again like I have so many times before. The threat is not that she'll quit loving me if I do something she thinks is bad, but that I cannot be with her anymore because I can't stand to hurt her with my presence. Anger and outrage empower us all... but so does love and kindness. Usagi's love is like a tsunami, drowning us all, washing away our ability to hate. I can feel it in my blood, now that the Chaos that was bound inside Galaxia has been released back into the galaxy. Earth is going to be attacked soon by agents of the Chaos. I think it will be a short, easy fight, but when the time comes, Usagi will fight by giving her love to those who are attacking us... And I will have no choice but to stop fighting and kill my own hatred. I will have no choice but to stand still and let her do what she knows is right. This is my penance. _ _ _ After several months of working my way through SMR, SMS, and SMSS fansubs, I just finished watching the last few episodes of SMSailor Stars. Wow. I've read the manga, but it's something else entirely to see it, even though it's presented so differently. (No teleportation to the Galatic Core! No Asteroid Senshi! Waah! No Sailors Phobos and Deimos! No Planet Mau! WAAAH!) While I think the SM manga is a better story, what really makes the anime so much more entertaining is the characterization. I (a hulking 6' 250lb guy) just about bawled my eyes out when Haruka admitted that she had betrayed Setsuuna and Hotaru as she was dying. For everything that happens by the end of the story... for the admission of guilt, Michiru and Haruka are smiling awfully big as they watch the Starlights' incandescent trails as they head back home. This is my answer to those smiles. ^_^ Sailor Moon Says: All you otaku need to support fansubs! They're the only way to get cut-up and marginally popular anime into the U.S. Also, when an Anime sub/dub company starts to distribute your favorite, support them in their efforts and buy the tapes! Tee Hee... * * * Hamster http://www.furinkan.net * * * Raw Data - Number of party-goers expected to visit Las Vegas for New Year's Eve: 750,000 Number of hotel rooms in Vegas: 120,000 -- .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List---. | Administrators - ffml-admins@fanfic.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@fanfic.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---http://www.fanfic.com/FFML-FAQ.txt ---'