First, I would like to thank everyone who sent in comments, 
or criticism to make this a better story. I'm afraid I don't 
have everybody's names, or I would list you, each and every 
one. 

Second, I would especially like to thank Dave Eddy, who spent 
valuable time pre-reading and critiquing my work. His help 
really did make the story.

And now, with no further ado:
-------------------------------------------------------------
				  Meow

		     a fanfic by Space Pirate Hamster
-------------------------------------------------------------
I have no legal right to use Ranma, or any other of 
Takahashi-sama's characters. They all belong to her Nifty 
Impressiveness, KITTY, VIZ, and a host of others. It's not 
really worth your time to sue me, though. If I had any money, 
I would spend a lot more time watching Ranma videos than 
writing stories.

Feel free to distribute this work, but please credit me.

Read on:
-------------------------------------------------------------

	Ranma almost skipped along the fence on his way home
from school. It wasn't like him to be so hyper, but he just 
couldn't help himself.

	'Gotta get home.... Gotta get home.... Gotta get 
home....' He did pirouettes on the turns, and jump kicks over 
the gates. Life was good, and Ranma was living it. He passed 
Ucchan's and waved at Konatsu, who was sweeping in front of 
the restraunt, and the inconspicuos looking pay phone that 
hadn't been there yesterday, "Hey guys! What's up?" With out 
waiting for an answer, he darted out of sight. The ninja and 
the payphone were left wondering.

	'Gotta get home.... Gotta get home.... Gotta get 
home....' As Ranma heard a military plane fly overhead, he 
paused, part in shock, part in disgust at himself. He had 
realized why he was so excited: Akane was coming back home 
today. It completely ruined his mood. The martial artist 
jumped off of the fence, and started trudging despondantly 
back to the dojo.

***

Anyone who travels regularly knows how emotional most 
airports can be. Freinds, families moving up, moving on. 
Lovers separated and reunited. Parents, letting go for the 
first time. Ranma and Akane...

	"Stupid tomboy... Like you're gonna get any better 
cookin' in Honolulu than you would here." Don't leave, 
Akane... My life won't be the same without you....

	"Shut up, Pervert. I don't see you aspiring to do 
anything else with your life", I have to leave, Ranma.... 
Can't you see that?

	Nabiki smiled sardonically at the squabbling pair. 
"Children, Children... It's only two weeks. Now off you go, 
Akane. You'll miss the plane if you stay much longer. You 
wouldn't want to swim to Hawaii, now would you?"

	"Those thighs'll probably help. Things coulda kept the 
Titanic up. Nope, no danger of Akane drowining 'In Case of a 
Water Landing'. Ranma could barely hold back the tears. No, 
no, not here. Please don't let her see me cry... 

	With a tender 'Ranma no baka' and a chaste kiss with 
her mallet, Akane turned, and fled down the embarking ramp, 
her eyes brimming over with tears, her heart pounding his 
name. True, she wanted to stay, but you didn't win a two week 
stay at the 'Julia Childs Fantasy Cooking Camp' every week. 
She could only hope that the other three fiancees, as well as 
their meddlesome parents would keep eachother at bay until 
she returned to protect her investment.

***

	Ranma moped on his way back to the dojo. Akane was 
coming back, and the beatings would commence just as soon as 
she got off the plane.  What had made him so happy earlier 
was still a complete mystery...  

	As fate would have it, if Ranma had still been singing 
in joy as he passed the street construction site, he never 
would have heard it...

	"mew."

	Although it was a pained cry, Ranma's hair stood on 
end.  His pigtail spiked as he turned to face his attacker.

	"mew ... MEW MEW MEW!" She was hurt. She was scared. 
There were nasty monsters nearby and they were getting 
closer. And then HE was there, beutiful, tall, and full of 
fighting spirit. 

	The hideous smell of fish sausage and sardine came back 
to him. The little beast stood at the end of the torn up 
street.

	"mew," Don't let me die. I don't want to be eaten...

	"No way..." Ranma could see that the kitten had it's 
paw caught in the drainage gate. It was cut badly, but the 
cat couldn't get it free. Then he looked down at the other 
end of the street, where two or three burly construction 
workers were busy laying new asphalt. Another sat on a steam 
roller, backing slowly down the curb, matching asphalt to 
cement. From where he was, he *might* see the kitten before 
he crushed it.

	"mew."

	"Leave me alone! I hate CATS!"

	"mew," But if you leave me, the monster will eat me....

	Ranma turned to walk away. Fate could have Ms. Kitty.

	"meeeeeew" I-I understand. Maybe it's better this 
way...
	
	"Bloody hell..." Ranma gritted his teeth, screwed his 
eyes shut, and turned back toward the kitten.

***

	Nabiki was quite suprised to feel the sudden sensation 
on her backside, as she was standing in front of the counter. 
She had been ordering an ice cream, but now...  Nabiki turned 
to see who was being perverted.

	It was.... Ranma? He was on all fours, and rubbing up 
against her with brotherly affection.  If her brother had 
been a siamese, mind you.

	"Oh great...Saotome succumbs once again." She sighed 
mournfully as the other patrons began to stare.  
	
	Ranma finished rubbing his right side against her and 
turned to finish the job. Every cat knew that you were 
supposed to offer *both* your flanks to the people who fed 
you, or took care of your house. It was just being nice.

	As Ranma turned, Nabiki was presented with the source 
of Ranma's current affliction. In his mouth, Ranma was 
carrying a white and grey tabby kitten by the scruff of her 
neck. The kitten purred contentedly, even though something 
seemed to be wrong with it.

	"Lovely... Just Lovely." She tried to get away from 
Ranma, moving to sit in a booth, but the martial artisit 
followed her, and lept up on the table, where he meowed 
plantively.  "Would you get down? You're being embarassing!"

	"Miiiiiaaaaooowwww!" Ranma seemed happy to see her, if 
nothing else. He looked like he was still halfway watching 
the kitten.... WHO WAS LICKING HER ICECREAM!!!!

	"Ranma! What is the big idea bringing this little 
beast--

	"miarr, " The kitten looked up in thanks for the sweet 
meal. Nabiki was about to shoo it off, when she saw it limp 
away from the bowl.  When it started trying to clean its 
face, she understood.

	"What happened to it, Ranma?" She picked up the kitten 
and examined its left forepaw. It had been ripped pretty 
badly down the middle. "Did you do this?"

	"Raoooorrrr!" Ranma hissed slightly.

	"Sorry.... geez!" She didn't think that he *would* do 
something like that, but with the Saotomes, sometimes you 
never knew.
	
	Ranma picked the kitten out of Nabiki's hands with his 
teeth, almost protectively. It looked utterly ridiculous, but 
still, he looked at her questioningly. The kitten purred, its 
eyes closed, and its paws hanging limply. She seemed 
contented to stay where she was.

	"Maybe we should see Doctor Tofuu?" He would look at 
the kitten's leg, and might be able to do something for 
Ranma, as well.

	"Meow."

*** 

	"Hmmm, severe, chronic, aluripohobia. I've seen it 
before, but never in a case this severe..."  Tofuu studied 
Ranma, who was curled up around the injured kitten, napping 
contendedly on an examination table. "How did this happen, 
again?"

	Nabiki quickly recounted the the story of Ranma's 
training in the Neko-ken, and his father's stupidity. She 
told the doctor of how Genma had interperated the training 
manual. "...And the next page even *said* that it was a 
stupid technique."

	"I see... Tofuu pushed his glasses up on the bridge of 
his nose. "And Akane is the only person who can calm him 
down?"

	Nabiki thought for a second. "There was an old lady who 
could do it. She was a neighbor of the Saotomes, but she 
passed away some time ago."

	"Hmm... This is not good." Tofuu began skimming through 
a psychology text. "Have you tried any kind of confrontation 
therapy yet?"

	"We tried. Kassumi let a bunch of cats in the house 
when we found out, but Ranma just locked himself in the 
bathroom." Nabiki winced as the doctor's glasses fogged 
slightly at the mention of her sister.
		
	"I don't see why that shouldn't have worked... If it 
was Kassumi." The doctor sighed and lay the psychology tbook 
on the examination table in frustration. "Does any kind of 
shock help to bring him around?"

	"Well,"  Nabiki started, "Akane *did* punch him face 
first into a water fountain the last time it happened.  It 
may have just been Akane, though."

	"No harm in trying something similiar..." Tofuu walked
to the sink and filled a large syringe with cold water. 
"Ranma?" He tried to get the martial artist's attention, but 
Ranma was far too rooted in his slumber to notice. "Nabiki, 
would you shake him, please?"

	Nabiki gently nudged Ranma's shoulders. "Ranma?" Time 
to get up."

	"Rawol?" Ranma looked up and yawned, only to be 
squirted in the face. The kitten mewed angrily at being 
splashed, but Ranma (now a girl) took the syringe from Tofuu 
in six perfectly even slices.

	"Rawwwwrrrrrr..." Ranma growled at Tofuu, but soon 
began 'cleaning' the water off of the kitten after she had a 
second to calm down.

	"I'm certain that's not sanitary..." Tofuu frowned in 
defeat. "I think I'm going to have to send him to Doctor 
Nishiama. He specializes in phobias and MPS."

	"What are his rates like?" Nabiki was carefully 
examining her father's bankbook.

	"Nabiki?!?!"

	"Well, Uncle Saotome *is* pretty cheap, Doctor," Nabiki 
snapped the bankbook shut with a wicked grin. "Somebody's 
going to have pay for it. Do you give much to charity, Doctor 
Tofuu?"

	"A-actually," Tofuu *hoped* she was only kidding, "I 
think Doctor Nishiama is looking for a case study. He may 
take the case for free." He had seen that evil glint in her 
eyes before, and it ended up costing him better than 100,000 
yen, after all the expenses.

	"We'll see... At any rate, can you do anything for 
Ranma's kitten? I'd hate for it to suffer." Nabiki glanced 
over to the kitten, who was now cleaning herself. It tried to 
lick its sliced paw, but it was obvious that the wound was 
far too painful to touch.

	Ranma, on the other hand, had started cleaning as well, 
and was having no problem. She was doing a pretty decent job 
of looking kittenish.

	Nabiki knew that if she could get Ranma into a leotard, 
and maybe some of those cute 'cat ears', that one photo would 
pay for Ranma's treatment for a decade, as well as repairs to 
the dojo. Her fingers twitched involuntarily for a shutter 
button.

	"I think I'll bandage and splint that paw, and I can 
give you some pain drops, but you really should take her to a 
vetrenarian.

	"Ranma or the cat?"

	Tofuu didn't answer. Ranma wearily let him pick up the 
kitten. He cleaned the cut, and bandaged it wiwh gauze and 
tounge depressors. As an afterthough, he put a few drops of a 
clear liquied on top of the bandage.

	"Antiseptic?" Nabiki asked.

	"Actuallly, you can't give small animals alchohol-based 
antiseptics. There is a danger that it will poison them if 
they lick it. That was the same nail polish I give to people 
who chew their nails. It *should* keep her from tearing the 
splint.
	
	The kitten mewed questioningly up towards the Doctor. 
She shook the weight on her paw, sniffed it, and jerked 
violently at the smell.

	Ranma was straining to clean her pigtail as the doctor 
gave the kitten back. Ranma looked disdainfully at the 
bandage, but picked the kitten up by the scruff of the neck. 
She hopped off the table, and started padding toward the door 
of the clinic.

	"I guess that all you can do for Ranma right now is to 
try and keep him safe until Akane gets home. Barring that, 
I'll have Doctor Nishiama get in touch with you."  Tofuu 
looked somewhat baffled as Ranma began scratching at the 
doorframe. "If he insists on carrying the kitten with his 
mouth, you really should bathe it."

***

	Tatewake Kunou, captain of the Furinken High Kendo 
Team, president of his class, the self proclaimed 'Blue 
Thunder' of Furinken High was making his way home to the 
imposing Kunou mansion passing by the shops near his school. 
He was returning from his after-school kendo practice, which, 
as usual, left him little confidence in the rest of the kendo 
team.

	Ever since Saotome had arrived at Furinken, they just 
seemed to have lost their fighting spirit. Ahh... that devil, 
Saotome... Soon... Soon he would pay for his crimes against 
the fair Akane Tendou and his goddess--

	"Pigtailed Girl!" Kunou ran to embrace the redhead. 
"You have come for me at last!" 

	"Mrawr?" The pigtailed girl was acting quite strangely, 
prancing around the sidewalk on all fours, and making the 
feline calls of a house cat.

	"Oh, my Pigtailed goddess! You are so playful! Your 
love for me must be grand, indeed, to tease me in such a 
tawdry fashion." He stopped short of embracing the girl, who 
was hissing viciously in his direction.

	"Umm... Kunou?" Nabiki interjected.

	"Silence, woman. Can you not see that my pigtailed 
Venus is in the throes of passion, and trying to tempt me 
with her playful demeanor?" He flicked a strand of hair out 
of his eyes, and grinned benevolently. "Oh, tempt me, 
Pigtailed girl!"

	Her hair stood on end, and she began to shake.

	"Her passion for me overwhelms her, as it would any 
other. Truly, I am too much a man for such a simple creature. 
This too is the fruit of being such--" He spied the kitten, 
cowering behind the girl's arm. "Oh, look, my love has 
brought me a present.

	Years later, all Kunou would remember after reaching 
down to grasp the kitten was a flash of red, and the taste of 
cement. "Oh... pig... tailed... girl..." Kunou passed out 
from the pain of well over a thousand tiny scratches covering 
his body.

	Ranma picked up the kitten and continued on to the 
dojo.

	"Seriously, Ranma. He only wanted to pet her."

	"Rawooorrrrrrr!"

***

	Kasumi didn't really know quite what to do about Ranma. 
Massive damage to the house and dojo, she could handle. 
Perverted little panty thieves, she could handle, but when 
Ranma broke down into his feral cat personality, it was all 
she could do to keep from breaking down herself, and crying. 

	She secretly detested Ranma's father for his stupidity 
and cruelty. How anyone could just drop a defenseless six 
year old into a pit of starving cats was far beyond her. She 
only wished that there was *something* she could do. In 
Ranma's current condition, the martial artist wouldn't even 
drink the tea she offered.

	After her father and Nabiki left to pickup Akane from 
the airport, she managed to get Ranma to take some milk. 
After she finished, though, Ranma guarded the bowl until the 
kitten drank its fill. They both meowed sweetly.  Ranma once 
again took the kitten in her teeth, and leapt to the top 
of the refrigerator. Somehow finding a comfortable spot, 
Ranma curled in almost a motherly fashion around the kitten.

	At Doctor Tofuu's instructions, she managed to get the 
kitten away from Ranma long enough to wash it. As soon as she 
finished bathing the kitten in the sink, however, Ranma took 
it back to the top of the dusty refigerator.

	Kasumi sighed and started dinner.

***

	Akane stepped out into the waiting area, and into the 
lounge beyond, leaving the plane, and her trip behind. 

	Things had not gone well. She had been told, in no
uncertain terms, that she would *not* be welcome back at the 
'Julia Childs Fantasy Cooking Camp' until she could enter the 
kitchen without injuring someone.  Her roommate at the camp, 
a young Australian girl, had informed her that the camp had 
*never* thrown anybody out. The teachers were supposed to be 
able to teach *anyone* how to cook. She hadn't even been 
allowed to meet Ms. Childs like all the others! It was an 
outrage!
	
	How Akane had given the instructor food poisoning from 
sugar cookies was a complete mystery to her.

	At any rate, the trip hadn't been a complete loss. 
After asking her to leave, the manager had given her a refund 
for her stay, even though she had won the trip in a contest. 
She could buy some new clothes... maybe take her family out 
to dinner... all except for that jerk, Ranma! If he was too 
good for *her* cooking, then a nice restauraunt would be 
completely wasted on him. How could he be so insensitive?!? 
She could just hear his comments, once he found out what 
happened. "Oh Akane! Stupid tomboy can't even cook with a 
teacher standing right over her!" 	"Geez, who'd you put in 
the hospital this time, you uncute moron?"

	It was all too much to stand! She promised herself to 
pound Ranma's face into the floor, first chance she got. 

	As the girl took her baggage to customs, the people 
around her marveled at the angry blue glow.

	Once she had been OK'd by the officials at the customs 
desk, she started looking for her family. That cretin, Ranma, 
was going to pay dearly for what he was about to say about 
her cooking! 

	"Akane!" She heard Nabiki's voice.

	"Sis?"

	"Over here, Akane!" She turned until she saw her sister 
waving, and her hysterical father by Nabiki's side.

	"Nabiki!" She ran to where they were standing, 
preparing to pound her fiancee. She was quite surprised to 
find he wasn't there, waiting for her. "Where's Ranma?"

	Soun, whose emotions at his little girl's return to 
Japan had gotten the better of him, was unable to answer. 
Nabiki, however, took it all in stride. "He's not feeling 
very well, Akane. He has a present for you, though." 

	"He does?"

	The Tendou's took the train from the airport to the 
depot nearest the dojo. It was only a fifteen minute ride, 
but Akane found herself anxious to get home. She told herself 
repeatedly that Ranma must need a beating of some kind, or 
else, she wouldn't want to get home so badly. On the walk 
home from the train station, Akane brought up the idea of 
going to a nice restauraunt for dinner.

	"That would be nice, Akane, but perhaps we should wait 
until tomorrow." Soun looked in the direction of the Tendou 
home.  "I'm certain Kasumi has a big dinner planned tonight!" 
He smiled warmly, anticipating the feast that awaited them.
	
	Akane was not anticipating the bundle of energy that 
knocked her to the ground and wiggled into a comfortable 
position in her lap. Once she realized what had happened, she 
prepared to send her fiancee into orbit. "Ranma you per--"

	"This was what I was talking about earlier, Sis..." 
Nabiki knelt down in front of Ranma, who had begun to purr. 
"As a matter of fact, I would say that Ranma is just not the 
same person."

	"GRRRRRanma! Get off of me you lech!" Akane roughly 
shoved her fiancee off her lap.

	"Meow?" Ranma circled cautiously, giving Akane a hurt 
look.

	"We're both girls, you idiot! What if someone had 
seen?" Akane screamed with rage.

	"I saw... but I won't tell anybody!" Nabiki grinned at 
the evil look her sister flashed her.

	"Meeeeoooowww..." Ranma lay on her belly, looking 
mournfully up at Akane. After a few seconds, she began to 
clean again.

	Akane shook her head in frustration. "What was it this 
time. Did Kunou try the tiger routine again, or was it 
Shampoo?"

	"No tiger routine, but Ranma delt with Kunou-chan this 
afternoon. You really should have been there, Sis." 

***

	"Ranma, why don't you show Akane the kitten?" Kasumi 
tried to distract Ranma, whom Akane had just splashed with 
near scalding water.

	"Rawwrrrrrrr.... Merow?" No longer angry, Ranma bounded 
up the stairs, into the guest room.

	"Why didn't that work?" Akane was shocked that her 
treatment failed to elicit its usual response. When the 
madness of Neko-ken took him, Ranma was usually only affected 
for a few minutes. Apparently, this time he had been locked 
into it for hours. Not even being splashed would bring him 
around. 

	Suddenly, Akane was presented with the with the reason 
for her fiancee's break down. It sat mewing in her lap. The 
tabby kitten was apparently quite upset that its playmate was 
no longer interested in romping around the house. Ranma sat 
in front of her bearing an expectant expression.

	"Oh, a kitten!" Then, Ranma placed his head in Akane's 
lap, gently nudging the crying kitten. She was considering 
hammering Ranma, but gave up on the idea. It really didn't do 
any good when he was like this. He wouldn't even remember it 
afterwards.
		
	"Murrrooow." Ranma brushed her thigh as he tried to 
push the kitten closer to Akane. She found that she just 
couldn't stand for it. Her rage began to build inside, like a 
furnace with no vent. 

	"I already have a pet, you idiot! What are you trying 
to do?" Akane dumped the kitten in the floor, and stood up to 
face her fiancee.

	"Meow?" Ranma backed up a few feet, but stood his 
ground in front of Akane.

	"You think it's easy, you creep! You think I'll just 
give up, don't you? Well I won't. I won't I tell you!" Akane 
screamed in rage. She wanted to belt Ranma for what he was 
trying to do. She wanted to pound his face into jelly! 
"Ahhhggg! You cretin!"

	"Akane, what ever is the matter?" Kasumi worriedly 
tried to calm her sister. "What has he done?"

	"Isn't it obvious?" Akane exclaimed with a fiery anger. 
"He's trying to replace P-chan!"

	Nabiki felt like something needed to be said. "Ummm, 
Akane. You haven't seen P-chan since before you left for 
Hawaii."

	"Yeah. This creep ran him off again!"

	"Akane, you're being rash, maybe you should have a nice 
cup of tea, and try to calm down." Kasumi desperately 
attempted to placate her sister to no avail. No sooner than 
she held a teacup out to Akane, her little sister had started 
screaming incoherently at a confused Ranma.

	Eventually, Akane gave up speech, and started to chase 
Ranma around the house with her mallet. To add to her 
frustration, the cretin made some kind of game out of it. He 
would wait until she almost had him, and then dart out of 
reach, meowing insanely the entire time. After being 
repeatedly antagonized, Akane finally cornered the martial 
artist, and was preparing to pulverize him. Suddenly, she 
felt something soft and furry touch her leg.

	The kitten was rubbing up against her leg.  Too late, 
she realized that if she took the step she was leaning into, 
that she would crush the tiny cat. She couldn't back up 
either. Akane desperately waved her arms to try and keep her 
balance, but it was too late.

*SMACK*

	She landed hard, taking it on her stomach. Ranma and 
the kitten both watched curiously as Akane picked her self up 
off of the floor and started to cry. She crumpled into the 
corner and sobbed for a few minutes, ignoring Ranma's 
attempts to entice her back into the chase. Suddenly her 
voice was icily calm. "That's it. Both of you can just rot, 
for all I care." She stormed into her room and slammed the 
door, rattling the entire house.

	"If Ranma has this much trouble with cats, I'm afraid 
we will have to take the cat to the animal shelter." Soun 
tried to impose sanity on the situation.

	"Are you sure father?" Kasumi didn't agree with her 
father, but wasn't about to contradict him.

	"MYOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!" Ranma lept angrily up and down at 
his fiancee's father. He hissed menacingly.

	"No... I think we really should try to get rid of the 
animal." Soun was a *little* nervous about the martial artist 
howling in his face.

	"Daddy, don't you think that's a little extreme? Having 
a cat might be fun." Nabiki thought that having a kitten in 
the house would be nice even if it was Ranma's

	"Absolutely not!  I'll not have my youngest daughter 
married to a schizophrenic!" Soun didn't even feel Ranma's 
fist. He just suddenly felt a little cooler on his face. "Am 
I bleeding?"

	"No, Daddy, but you look cute without your moustache!" 
Nabiki giggled. This was too rich. Looking for her camera, 
she knew that one way or another this was going to be more 
fun than usual. 

	She went to bed after watching Ranma harass her father 
for several hours, but even then, she could not sleep for 
laughing so hard. She could hear Ranma at her father's 
bedroom door.

	"Meeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooo!"

	"Go to bed Ranma. My decision is final!"

	"Meeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooo!"

	"I'm warning you, Ranma!"

	"MEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

	Ranma would take short breaks to run up and down the 
hallway with the kitten, but would be back at the door with 
in minutes. It went on for hours.

	"Meeeoow?" 

	"mew?" The kitten was at the door now, as well.

	"RANMA!!!"

	"Meeeeoooow?"

	"All right... All... right... You can keep the 
kitten... Just please, please let me... sleep!" 

	The howling stopped. For a second, a calm settled on 
the Tendou house. 

	"Finally..." came the call from behind Akane's door. 
Nabiki greeted her sister's comment with applause.

	"Please... Let your father sleep!" Soun's ragged voice 
was suddenly greeted by the sound of two cats running up and 
down the hall, playing the ancient game of kitty chase. 

	After the game of chase wore down, Ranma started 
showing the kitten how to turn on light switches. She had to 
stand on Ranma's back and jump for the switch, but she was 
still able to make every switch in the house flash like a 
strobe. Nabiki wasn't suprised to hear a muffled sobbing come 
from her father's door as Ranma and the kitten returned to 
the hallway.

	After another hour, Nabiki decided that she was going 
to get no sleep due to the flashing lights and the pounding 
footsteps through out the house. She felt a little cheated as 
she slid out of bed. If I'm not going to get to sleep, I 
might as well be making a profit. Once outside her room, she 
saw that the game of chase had started up again. Suddenly 
Nabiki knew just what to do.

She videotaped it.

*** 	

	Ranma and the kitten had kept everyone up, more or 
less, all night long. Soun and Akane were sitting drowsily at 
the table, as Nabiki stumbled in. Kasumi was the only one who 
looked well rested at all.

	Breakfast was a nightmare. Ranma, of course, refused to 
eat with his hands, and let the kitten eat out of his dishes. 
After a few minutes of having the kitten on the table, Akane 
took Ranma's plate away and put it on the floor. As Ranma and 
the kitten started attacking the plate again, Kassumi wanted 
to scream in frustration, but politely kept her calm. Soun 
found himself privately wishing he hadn't given in to the 
howling the night before. Nabiki, feeling her lack of sleep, 
found a comfortable cushion next to the table, and laid back 
down. She was soon snoring lightly.

	During the day, nothing anybody tried would calm him 
down enough to become lucid. Tofuu even tried a mild 
sedative. Instead of a sane Ranma, though, all the sedative 
produced was a sleepy cat.

	After dinner, Ranma started trying to give the kitten 
to Akane, again.
 
	"Myowr." Ranma trotted into Akane's room, holding the 
kitten in his teeth.

	"Get out." Akane didn't even look up from her calculus 
book.

	"Meow." Akane felt a stirring in her lap. She looked 
down to see Ranma's head.

	"You pervert! How dare you?!?! I told you to get out of 
here!" She leveled a kick at his gut, but Ranma had already 
scampered out of her room and down the hallway. Akane pushed 
away from her desk to go after him, but felt the stirring in 
her lap again. She looked down to see the tabby kitten 
staring up at her. "Ranma, you jerk." 
	
	Akane stroked the kitten's fur a few times, but soon 
lost herself in anger at Ranma again. She sighed and took the 
kitten into the kitchen, where Kasumi was putting the 
finishing touches on a cake.

	"Is this for Doctor Tofuu, Sis?" Akane bent over to 
peer at the frosted cake. She had to hold the kitten, who was 
very interested in the frosting, away just a bit.
	
	"Yes. I wanted to thank him for taking care of Ranma, 
yesterday." Kasumi beamed with pride at her accomplishment, 
but there was a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. "You know 
how he just loves my cakes."
	
	Yeah, if he can eat them without tearing up his office, 
Akane thought. "Listen. Um, do you mind if I put the kitten 
in your room? Ranma's trying to push it off on me again." 
Akane was a little embarrassed about the situation, but tried 
to be gruff.

	"I don't mind. It will use a sand box, won't it?" 
Kasumi did not want to clean a mess out of her spotless room.

	"I think Ranma's father has a tofu crate with sand in 
it in their room. I'll put it in with the kitten."

	"That's nice, if you're sure you don't want to keep it 
in your room, Akane." Kasumi wiped her hands on her apron.

	"Why would I want to do that? Ranma's trying to replace 
P-chan. I'm *not* going to let him get away with it!" Akane 
found she had to relax her hands to keep from squeezing the 
kitten too tightly. She turned to take the kitten back up 
stairs.

	"I honestly don't think he even cares about your pig 
right now Akane. You really should try to get along with him 
a little better. Ranma really is only trying to be nice." 
Kassumi's concerned expression did little but irritate Akane 
even further. 

	"Ranma's never nice!" Akane snapped at her sister. She 
regretted it almost instantly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to 
yell. He's been such a creep the last couple days."

	"That's okay, little sister. Just keep in mind what I 
said." Kassumi smiled warmly, but her face still held just a 
hint of apprehension. "If you try to get along, he might, 
too."

	"Maybe... If we can ever get him to quit pretending 
he's a cat." Akane left the kitchen, and set the kitten down 
on Kassumi's bed. She brought the box in a few minutes later, 
and checked to make sure that the kitten hadn't done any 
thing since she had left. Akane returned to her own room, and 
began studying for her calculus exam again.

	It was about fifteen minutes later when Ranma was back 
at her door with the kitten.

	"Don't you ever give up?" Akane already knew the 
answer. She had known Ranma long enough.

	"Meow?" Ranma deposited the kitten at her feet.

	"Just get out." She waited a few seconds, and then 
prepared to mallet him. "I'm warning you, Ranma!"

	The martial artist took off down the hallway.

	"Nabiki's door has a lock. Why don't we put you in 
there?" She took the cat to her sister's room, pausing 
briefly to collect the litter box. After putting the box in a 
corner, and making sure the cat was comfortable on Nabiki's 
bed, she locked the door on them and headed back to her own 
room in relief. 

	About ten minutes passed until she heard scratching on 
her door. "If you don't go away, I'm going to make you wish 
you were never born."

	"I'd hate to think you'd do that to me, Sis. After all 
we've done together.... I'm hurt." 

	 "Nabiki! I'm sorry. I thought it was Ranma again. He's 
trying to push that kitten off on me again." Akane smiled at 
her sister. "I hope you don't mind, but I put it in your 
room."

	"That's okay. I'm not cleaning up after it, though." 
Nabiki glared at her sister for a second, dark circles 
evident under her eyes, but lost it to a giggle. "Actually, I 
wanted to talk to you about that."

	"Does it matter?" Why were her sisters teaming up on 
her tonight?
	
	"A little. I didn't get much sleep last night, and if 
that's any indicator, I don't think I will tonight, either." 
She did look pretty weary, Akane thought to herself.

	"I suppose you're going to tell me to be nice to 
Ranma."

	"No. I just want you to take the kitten. It's the only
way to end this." Nabiki paused, and then grinned as she 
heard the footsteps on the roof that indicated someone trying 
to break into her room.

	"Why. I don't see why it's so important. If Ranma would 
grow up for an instant, he would quit doing things like 
this." Akane grimaced. Nabiki didn't usually confront her.

	Nabiki held up the kitten. "Are you sure about that? 
Look." She held the kitten out for Akane.

	"I don't get it." She took the kitten anyway. "What am 
I supposed to be looking at?"

	"The front left leg." Nabiki held the kitten's paw up 
carefully for Akane.

	"It's bandaged."

	"It was cut to the bone when Ranma brought it to me. It 
must have been in a fight, or had something dropped on it. 
Doctor Tofuu still wants us to take it to a vet." Nabiki 
picked up the kitten and looked it in the face "I bet you'll 
just love that, won't you."

	"So he helped it out..." Akane glowered. 

	"At what cost, though? You've seen how he's been the 
last two days. It's been hell on us, and I can only imagine 
what he has to go through." Nabiki sat down on the carpet and 
began to play with the kitten. She looked up briefly at the 
scuffling sound out side the window. Ranma had already 
managed to circumvent the electric lock and burglar alarm. It 
was only a matter of time, now.

	"When Tofuu was working on the kitten, he told me he 
wanted to send Ranma to a therapist who deals with people 
like Ranma. He seems to think Ranma has a pretty serious 
problem, and I would like to think I can trust my doctor." 
She put the kitten in her lap, and looked up at her sister. 
"I heard you tell Kasumi that he was just pretending. Do you 
really think he's just acting?"

	"I-I guess not. It's just so damn irritating! He can 
get away with anything he wants--"Akane was cut off by her 
sister.

	"Like saving your butt over and over again?"

	"Like climbing all over every girl he sees."

	Nabiki chuckled. "You know as well as I do that he's 
never really approached another girl." If he ever had, she 
thought, I'd have his ass so far in debt he'd never see 
daylight again.

	"Well, he could tell them to quit." Akane shouted.

	"He could. I'll grant you, he sure doesn't know how to 
deal with women." Nabiki laughed, as she heard Ranma moving 
about her room, through the wall. "So, do you admit that he's 
got a psychological problem?"

	"Yeah. Creep deserves it though." Akane sniffed, as she 
too heard the martial artist shuffling around in the next 
room.

	"That's pretty mean, sis, even for you. Think about 
what you're saying. Does anybody deserve that? Even Ranma?"

	Akane realized that she *was* being harsh. She had even 
had a nightmare once about being given the cat-fu treatment 
by her father.  It was a little disturbing to think what 
Ranma must have gone through as a little boy. "So what can 
*I* do about it. It's Ranma's problem."

	"Like I said, Doctor Tofuu wants Ranma to go to a 
shrink. He even said that the other doctor might take the 
case for free. Ranma might be able to stand cats again, 
someday. Until then he won't be able to take care of his 
responsibility.  Why do you think we haven't been able to get 
him to change back?" Nabiki pointed to the tabby kitten, 
which was ferociously attacking a button on Nabiki's blouse.

	"But--"

	Nabiki cut her sister off again. "He certainly doesn't 
seem to trust me or Kasumi enough to do the job." She 
directed a wicked glance at Akane. "What do you think that 
means?"

	Akane's face reddened in anger, but quickly returned to 
its normal hue and even paled a bit. Why did he have to be so 
hard to deal with. She sighed, and was about to curse Ranma's 
name, when she heard the lock click on Nabiki's door, and the 
martial artist raced around the corner into her room.

	"Raoorrrrrrr...." He growled at Nabiki for stealing the 
kitten, but she set it down in front of him. 

	"We've been waiting for you, Ranma. What took you so 
long?" Nabiki smiled, patted the confused youth on the head, 
and left the room. "Ta-ta! Play nice, now!"

	Akane looked at her fiancee, who had picked the kitten 
up again. Once again, he left it in her lap, and backed up a 
few paces. His eyes questioned her intentions.

	"All right. You win, Ranma. I'll take care of the cat." 
Akane grimaced, but she picked up the kitten and held it 
close to her breast. 

	"Mya?" Ranma cocked his head to the side.

	"Don't think I'm letting you off easy though. You're 
still paying for cat food and litter." Akane glared directly 
at the young man. "And you have to go through with the 
therapy, or I'm sending it straight to the pound! No more of 
this up all night crap!"

	"Meow." Ranma's expression changed to one of happiness. 
He padded up to Akane, and before she could react, licked her 
lips. He jumped back playfully.

	"Ranma... YOU PERVERT! YOU LICKED ME!!!!!" She calmly 
set the kitten on her bed, and pulled out her mallet. "NOW 
YOU DIE!" Ranma had already darted out of the room. By the 
time she caught up with him, he was contentedly snoring on 
his futon.

	"Jerk..." Akane left the guest room, and went to 
collect the litter box. "You better be a man in the morning, 
Ranma, if you know what's good for you."

* * *
Hamster
http://www.furinkan.net